Jed in Real Life

This title was inspired by the movie ‘Dan in Real Life’ starring the always funny Steve Carrel. I’ve yet to the see movie, actually, but I was watching ‘Ebert & Roeper’ (sans Ebert) and it was recommended on the basis that it would make you feel good. Kind of a like a comfort-food type of movie that still deals with real life. Also of note, the guy that directed it, Peter Hedges, directed and wrote one of my favoritetest movies of all-time: ‘About a Boy.’ Anywho, this post is dedicated to the prosaic and mundane little things that happen to us daily—the sum of which make up our lives.

At work we’ve got new phones that look very similar to the ones used by CTU employees on ‘24.’ Here’s the coolest part though: I changed my ring so that it matches the CTU phones. It’s something like doo doo…dooo do. Does that make sense? Anyway, any time that the phone rings and I pick it up I half expect Jack Bauer to say: “Jed! I need your help, you’re just gonna have to trust me.” And I do, because as we all know Jack Bauer even got Helen Keller to talk.

I was at Wal-mart the other day, buying a DVD with a PG-13 rating. As the DVD went through the scanner, instead of a happy ding, there was a grumpy ‘err’ sound. The clerk then looked at me and asked me if I was over seventeen years-old. Really? Do I look like I’m still in high school? I’ve got to stop wearing my ‘I Heart Hanna Montana’ t-shirt.

Here’s the picture of Pres. Hinkley knighting Elder Eyring. I know this was innocent and all, but Mormons are funny about tradition and ceremony. I remember on my mission when a branch president in a really small rural area of Argentina set apart a member of the ward for a calling and he made them kneel on the ground. When I questioned him about the practice—which wasn’t necessarily bad or anything—he told me that that’s how the twelve apostles did it in a movie he’d seen. So, I guess I just worry that this picture we’ll be shown around the world and soon branch presidents in really small rural towns might sheer off some ears in an attempt to knight/set apart someone.

Here’s a picture of what my boss wore at a Halloween costume party yesterday. If you can’t tell he’s wearing a white trash can outfit, with sunglasses, and a sign around his neck that says ‘recycling.’ Get it? I didn’t. Either did my fellow judges when we voted him ‘worst costume.’ Apparently, he was a little offended that we bestowed this dubious honor upon him. Later, I had kind of a Michael Scott moment with him when he tried to explain to me that it was meant to be ‘cool trash’ and he looked at me for validation, and I just shook my head and said ‘hmmm, no.’ I don’t think that’ll help my impending performance review.

I always have gum and chap stick with me for some reason. Today, I picked up my gum and chap stick at the same time. I unwrapped a piece of gum and placed it in my mouth, then, while still holding the wrapper, I took off the cap to my chap stick and lubricated my lips. I then walked over to the trash can and threw the lid into the trash, while still holding the wrapper firmly in my hand. I just starred at the trash can for awhile before I got up the nerve to fish around in the trash to find my lid. This just confirms my sneaking suspicion that senility will be a smooth transition for me.

Finally, my sister sent me this picture of my cute nephew dressed as a lion for Halloween. When I was in kindergarten I was Lion-o from the Thundercats for Halloween. (Yes, I already know I was supercool.) So, I decided to call this picture Owen-o, because my nephew’s name is Owen. The end.