Oscar Party!!!

Yesterday I watched the Oscars. It was okay. I really enjoy watching the Oscars, and I especially enjoyed watching them with the help of my DVR, but I guess I wasn’t totally into them. I think the reason is that I haven’t seen a lot of the Oscar films this year. I don’t know what it is—maybe it’s just the fact that all the main films dealt with serial killers, greed, and death.

However, I still get geeked out from all the Hollywood intrigue and so I partook of Hollywood’s own kudo-fest, even though most of America decided not to. This was the lowest-rated Oscar telecast in over thirty years or something, which isn’t necessarily surprising, since most of the major films haven’t been huge successes at the box-office. In fact, the Academy Awards are the most watched when there is a clear runaway winner, (Titanic, Lord of the Rings, etc.) and not when it’s the most suspenseful when winning is a crapshoot.

With that being said, I can’t help but congratulate myself for guessing the Best Picture winner, No Country for Old Men, in our small little Oscar party last night. In fact, I actually tied with Emma and got 11 categories right in our Oscar pool. That’s not bad really. We planned a big Oscar party, but a huge spring snowstorm put the kibosh on it, so we only had a few friends over—but it was still fun. We also had some Oscar-themed food. Check out the pictures.

A few observations:

• Jon Stewart was generally funny, but it was evident that some of his jokes were thrown together rather quickly due to the writers’ strike.
• Amy Adams performed one of her Enchanted songs w/o any backup singers, dancers, or an attempt at a costume. What was up with that? All the other songs had elaborate productions.
• After watching Falling Slowly performed my dad and Emma both changed their prediction to this tune for Best Original Song. I, of course, had already decided that it was my favorite song, because I had seen it performed live at Sundance last year.
  
  
  
  
• The Bourne Ultimatum won three academy awards. Not bad for an action flick, but we all know it should’ve won Best Picture right?
• Foreigners took home all the top acting prizes. We outsource everything here in the US, even our acting apparently…

Government Holiday Movie Review

While government employee Jedboy was getting escorted through the hallowed grounds of NBC Burbank, non-governmental contracting employees such as me were hard at work building things for the government. Sometimes it's hard being a private businessman. I only get Christmas morning off, and I'm here plodding away at least until six o'clock most nights. On the other hand, the fistfuls of sweet, sweet American dollars rolling into my bank account (and swiftly back into the American economy via the McDonald's Drive Up Window) help to ease the pain ...

Also easing my pain is the Government Holiday!!! Although I don't necessarily get a day off, I still get a vacation. As I stated in my first Government Holiday Movie Review, when the government takes a day off, the lady of my house takes a day off. This was an especially well-timed Government Holiday.

As stated earilier, Government Holidays allow the scales of masculinty vs. femininity to be balanced in the ASmith household. With Valentine's Day having fallen a few days earlier, my household man power was in short supply, fizzling out like my sweet Pontiac as it nears it's last dying breath of gasoline vapors.

Flowers soiled my kitchen table. Flowers that I purchased. Dishes from a finely prepared meal littered my sink. A meal that I prepared. A romantic movie starring a woman that works as a magazine editor who falls hard for a guy had stunk up my DVD player. A movie that I rented.

In short, I had brought a pox of femininity into my home. I had cursed my home. The Government Holiday was my chance for absolution. With the lady of my house gone, and with her taking Man Cub with her, I was free to perform the necessary ceremonies to restore the balance of power.

To restore that power -- a meal, consisting mostly of meat, consumed directly from a sack, not shaving, lifting weights in my living room, and an awesome action film. On to this week's review.

Actual campaign pamphlet from Schwarzenegger's gubernatorial re-election campaign in 2006.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day. With the recent restoration of the Terminator franchise coming at the hands of the Fox show "The Sarah Connor Chronicles," I had a restored interest in the best action film of my youth. It's hard to capture just how awesome this movie was when it came out in 1991.

Special effects are a funny thing. Generally, I'd agree that any movie made today has better effects than earlier films. However, computer generated images (CGI) can only go so far. Recall that the earlier Star Wars movies actually had things built out of plastic, wood, and metal. The ships looked real because they were real. The second round of Star Wars films looked cool, but they were also filmed in front of a green screen. They weren't made in the real world, they were made in George Lucas' computer world on his ranch.

That being said, James Cameron absolutley nailed the special effects for Terminator 2. CGI was just rolling around at the time, and Cameron used that CGI only for the evil terminator played by that one guy who made some other films. The evil terminator character, when playing the role of a human, was played by a human character. When it was doing it's computerized morphing bit, it was created by a computer. Thus, on film, it looks like a human when it's supposed to and it looks like a robotic liquid metal goo when it's supposed to.

Actor Robert Patrick is not in fact a mimetic polyalloy mass of robotic goo. ASmith regrets the error of firing shots at Mr. Patrick on the 405 Freeway in Los Angeles.

In addition, I liked this movie because things blew up. Up until ten years ago, when you wanted something to blow up in a movie, you actually had to blow something up if you wanted it to look real. After a lenghty car chase through the canals of Los Angeles, the bad terminator wrecks a diesel truck. It blows up. And it was real. James Cameron actually set fire to a diesel cab and blew that thing up. And filmed it for posterity.

The film also had some good points. For example, although it's fun to blow things up, there are consequences. In addition, robots are capable of love on an one-to-one basis, but robots in general, and the artificial intelligence that drives them, are pure evil.

Then James Cameron had to go and make that Titanic movie. You tell me what's better -- that floating love story featuring super-duper awkward nudity (DiCaprio making coal-pencil sketches of Kate Winslet. What?) or the awesome powers of California's Governor blowing things up and saving our world from robotic future terrorists?

You know where I stand on the matter. T2 gets a 9.5 out of 10 on the man scale. Mitigating factors: Edward Furlong as the bratty teen John Connor. This guy is supposed to be the future leader of humanity. Um, no. He looks like kd lang. I'll stick with robots blowing things up, thank you.

Mormon Myths and Reality

Here's a new video that the Church updated recently. It's ultra cheesy, but pretty good.

'American Gangster' Whacks the Competition

American Gangster nailed the number one spot over the weekend, raking in $43.6 million. That’s a career best start for the two lead actors, Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. In fact, it set a new record for the most successful debut of an R-rated crime drama. This might help Oscar voters in the ensuing months to vote on these two heavyweights in the award arena. Marketing replicated the swagger of past gangster pictures coupled with a black and white poster, eerily reminiscent of ‘Scarface’s.’ I’ve been in kind of Russell Crowe mood I guess, having watched L.A. Confidential on my ClearPlay DVD player recently. That is an amazing movie, I totally recommend it.

Jerry Seinfeld’s animated comedy ‘Bee Movie’ scored second with a hefty $39.1 million. I was kind of interested in how this movie was going to do after Seinfeld’s relentlessly annoying promotion. It kind of got mixed reviews, but almost reaching $40 million is a sizable chunk of change for an opening week, yet it still pales in comparison to other PG-rated fare.

Also, of note: ‘Dan in Real Life’ held relatively well, down only 33 percent from its opening week, which is pretty good. There’s a smidgeon of Oscar talk attached to this movie as well, but it deals more with the soundtrack. The lightweight singer/songwriter Sondre Lerche penned some original material that’s rather, well, swell, I guess. (I’m a sucker for Scandinavian music though.) Check out one of his music videos that’s somewhat amusing.

To Boldly Go…

Casting for the new Star Trek movie seems to be rounding out as new reports are trickling in of the latest to join the pre-television series U.S.S. Enterprise. It appears that J.J. Abrams, the director, is taking the franchise into a bold new direction. Instead of using past Star Trek television stars, Abrams is casting young and relatively unknown actors to man the 60s sci-fi ship. While trying to appeal to a broader audience is the obvious reason that Abrams has broken from Star Trek tradition, some Trekkers are worried that he may fly the franchise off course, however, most have taken a ‘wait-and-see’ attitude.

A Mexican politician was stripped of his first-place title after it was uncovered that he took a shortcut. Officials opened an investigation after a race photographer noted that he finished the marathon wearing a jacket and long running tights; he also wasn’t sweating and he looked like he had just come from a fiesta. He shot back that he never intended to complete the race, but was simply crossing the finish line to get to all of his things. Since when do you cross a finish line pumping your arms in the air just to collect your belongings? Here’s the video. Compare his triumphant finish to that of his running counterparts who are on the verge of death.

So, what did you guys think of ‘The Office’ last night. I was reading some blogs on-line and some people were complaining that the hour-long episodes are just too much. Even my brother said that it seemed like they were just trying to fill space in some areas. I’m not sure how I feel. I think that I laughed quite a bit: Meredith’s hip cast, Andy’s song to Angela, Michael and Dwight making fun of Ryan. But, I would agree that the whole kidnapping incident seemed a little too ‘out there.’ Kind of like when Michael drove his car into the river on the last episode. I don’t know. What do you guys and gals think?

One last thing: I couldn’t watch ‘The Office’ on DVR because it wasn’t working for some reason, so I sat and watched all the commercials for fear that I might miss even one second. There’s all these lame Jerry Seinfeld promos for his new movie on. Uh, L.A.M.E. I didn’t think they were very funny at all, and it caused me not to want to watch his new movie.

Cowboys! Romulans! Vampires!.....Lend me your ears!

So, what do cowboys, Romulans, vampires, and nerds have in common? Aside from being Duane’s secret identities, they don’t really have anything in common—I just wanted to talk about all four for a bit:

First of all, does anyone know who Karl Urban is? He’s sort of an up-and-coming star I guess. Most of you would know him from his role as Eomer in LotR. He also played the Russian assassin in the excellent ‘Bourne Supremacy.’ Aside from that he hasn’t been in anything you might consider major, but he’s recently been cast to play Woodrow F. Call in the prequel to ‘Lonesome Dove.’ I’m pretty excited for this since I absolutely love the original TV miniseries and the book. Come to think of it I kind of have an odd fascination with westerns. I think that Robert Duvall, who was in the original ‘Lonesome Dove,’ put it best when explaining why the Western genre is important: "it's ours. It's ours… It's American. The English have Shakespeare, the French have Moliere, the Russians have Chekhov. The Western is ours."

Anyway, Karl Urban has also been cast in another prequel. He’s been offered the role of the top villainous Romulan in the new Star Trek movie. I’ve actually secured one of his lines from the script below. (It’s been reported that he ad-libs quite a bit.)

Top Villainous Romulan: What business does an elf, man, and a dwarf have in the Romulan Star Empire? Speak quickly.

They’re still working on some of the lines…

The new teen vampire sensation, ‘Twilight,’ (and by ‘teen’ I mean every female member of Mormondom) is being made into a movie. I would try and be more excited by this, but my mom has already banned me from reading the books because of all the kissing.

Finally, Demitri Martin has a new show coming to Comedy Central. If you’re a follower of ‘Daily Show,’ you’d probably recognize this guy. He’s a pretty funny nerd.

Week in Review

Every day last week I indulged myself in some form of entertainment. Here’s my Monday through Friday analysis of what I experienced: the Good, the Bad, and the Weird.

Monday
I guess last week was premier week on many of the networks. I decided to check out a couple of shows that had appeal to me. The first was ‘Chuck.’ This show is billed as an action/comedy. It’s getting great reviews, but I was kind of left with a ho-hum feeling. That’s not to say it was bad—the action sequences were amazing—it’s just that the comedy fell a little flat to me. I will say that the main character is very likable, and I think the show has a lot of potential.

That same night I watched another sitcom called ‘The Big Bang Theory.’ I wasn’t expecting much since the critics kind of panned it. I was also a little wary since it plays like a traditional sitcom: laugh track, situational humor, set up, joke, set up, joke, etc. But I must say I came away pleasantly surprised. It’s an extremely well-written sitcom and I found myself laughing out-loud many times. Also, Jim Parsons (Sheldon) plays out the nuances of his character with nerdlike perfection and wit. Check it out.

Tuesday
It was “old movie night” at my house…I was the only one invited. (Sidenote: sad). I watched this movie called The Apartment, which happened to be on my very long list of movies I need to watch. The premise of the movie was actually somewhat seedy for a movie that came out in 1960. It’s hailed as a comedy classic, but I would label it under the somewhat new moniker of ‘dramedy.’ It actually deals with some very serious issues that I thought were very ‘hush hush’ during this time period, of course, this was the beginning of the 60s…Anyway, I just wanted to say that the comic genius of Jack Lemmon was evident as he embodied the everyday man caught in extraordinary situations with bumbling ease. (See Some Like it Hot). Also, I kind of fell in love with Shirley MacLaine a little.

Wednesday
My sister and I decided to go to the circus on opening night—neither one of us had ever been and we thought it would be fun. And, well, we actually did have a good time, but I was kind of thrust into sensory overload with all the music, noise, clowns, lights, animals, etc. Have you ever seen the sequence in Dumbo when he (gasp!) gets drunk and starts dreaming of pink elephants on parade? To be honest, I couldn’t get that out of my head the entire night. The highlight, for me, was the Asian performers that would contort their bodies together into extravagant corporal pyramids that any cheerleading squad would drool over.

Thursday
Yes! The return of the ‘The Office’ was a sublime, life-affirming, feast of comedy. Ok, it wasn’t perfect, but it was good to see the characters I love back on the small screen. I’ve been watching this sitcom since it debuted. I remember telling people about it after the first season’s six episodes came out and no one had heard of it. So, I downloaded the episodes onto my laptop and carted them around, showing them to anyone that would watch. (I think I’ve seen the first season’s episode like twenty times or something—they’re still my favorite.)

Michael was, of course, beautifully annoying as usual and the PB & J scenes were played out to perfection; not too much and just enough that everyone I was with ‘aaahhhed’ when the TV crew caught the slight kiss in the car. It was a seamless resolution to last season’s cliffhanger.

P.S. Hayley - thanks for facilitating on ‘Office’ party at your apartment. I was especially fond of the green jell-o garnished with miniature staplers. Christian - again, I still don’t understand why you left with ‘six-pack chick’?

Oh, and btw...Creed's turning into on of my favorite characters:

Creed: I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.

Friday
I went to see David O. McKay presents ‘The Smashing Pumpkins’ at the David O. McKay Events Center at UVSC. I kept my streak alive of seeing concerts without paying. This was probably my fifth or sixth one this year where no dollars were exchanged for musical enchantment. I’m a big fan of this band, but oddly enough I only started listening to them after my mission, which was unfortunate because they had broken up by then. So I didn’t think that I’d ever see them live. However, they got back together earlier this year and started touring again, so I just had to go. Of course, I don’t know if you could consider them really together again, since it’s only Billy Corgan and the drummer that are back from the original line-up. The lead-singer alluded to this when he introduced his drummer, with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek, as his ‘life-partner.’

Anyway, they really rocked the casbah with their 90s-defining alt-progressive rock. My favorite part, however, was when Billy did a couple of acoustic takes of some of his biggest hits. It was especially touching to hear him talk about a mother backstage telling him, before the beginning of the concert, about her daughter who recently passed away—she was a huge fan of their music. He dedicated the acoustic version of ‘1979’ to her. It’s my favorite Pumpkins song; in fact, it’s now my video wallpaper on my phone.

WeekEnd
-Radiohead’s giving away their newest album….should we still buy CDs Aaron?

-New Dashboard Confessional is streaming on MySpace and it’s all acousticked up.

struck by lightning?

Thanks Casey

Fashion Corner

I was thinking of how I could become cool recently when I read that Ray- Ban sunglasses are now in style again. Since most of you are obsessed with looking attractive I wanted to share this information. I’d like to think that JedBoy not only keeps you up-to-date on all the cool movies, books, and TV shows, but on all the fashion trends as well. (Duane, I’m talking to you.) But you don’t have to take my word for it, check out this video.

PopCulture Quiz

Which President famously said: "Let's give some T.L.C. to the P.Y.T.s."

Answer

"We're Preggers!"

Here's the setup: My brother and his wife just got pregnant and they wanted to tell everyone before we took a picture to capture their reaction. Since I already knew this, I decided to shoot a video instead with my camera. You only need to watch the first 30 sec. of this video to catch their underwhelming response.

"Hey, Miss South Carolina"

I know that most of you are probably sick of hearing about Miss South Carolina and her thoughts on U.S. Americans, the Iraq, and the Asian countries; but I personally believe that we should look at YouTube coverage more because we don't have maps. Below you will find the latest the internet has to offer in the ongoing analysis of the infamous response heard around the world and everywhere and like such as....so we'll be able to build up our future for our:


Jimmy Kimmel breaks down what Miss South Carolina had to say.

"Hey, Miss South Carolina"

Song composed by Miss South Carolina.

Proud Parents of Miss South Carolina.

superbad.

'The Office' Summer Vacation

Andy: I am a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something no one else has: my brain. Which I use to my advantage, when advantageous.

Calexico and YouTube

I saw Calexico last week for free and it was stupendous. allmusic.com described Calexico: Southwestern style with an afro-peruvian, 50s and 60 jazz, country, and surf influence. (A little something for everyone then.) They have this amazing CD they made with Iron & Wine a few years back (click on 'History of Lovers'). The two bands then toured together and I caught one of their shows. The concert was awesome, but I was dating this girl at the time that decided to bring her "best friend" of the male persuasion to the concert, which made things awkward; needless to say they're now married. True story, but the concert still rocked.


Do you ever wish you had the One Ring of Power so that you could slip it on and be invisible? Think about that while you watch Elijah Wood here.

The SAT scores were just released by state, (South Carolina came in third from the bottom) watch this clip to see if you can figure out why.

Oh, and then watch this to view the explanation.

Do you use the MyFace?

The Break Up

Song for Sally

Phone Call Home

Foux Da Fa Fa