I graduated with Dick Cheney (yawn)

On Friday last week I graduated from BYU…again. I think it would be appropriate for people to refer to me as Master Jedi from now on—I think I’ve earned it, like my father before me. Actually, my father is an O.D., which stands for something like Obi-Wan Darth, I’m not really sure. Anyway, before I was to graduate from the Marriott School of Management, I went to commencement the day before. You know, I’m not really sure what the difference between “commencement” and “graduation” is. The only difference I could really tell was that there were more people dressed like they were at a Harry Potter costume party during commencement—I kept looking for the Sorting Hat, but to no avail. However, one of the cool things that Masters Students get that those other lowly Bachelors don’t (suckers) is a hood! I’m not even kidding. I know it sounds weird and you’re all envious, but depending on what college you graduate from you get to accessorize your Hogwarts fatigues with colored hoods. Granted, you don’t actually hood your cranium with them, unless you wanted to pose for amazingly awesome pictures with your friends afterward, they’re more for looks and ego stroking.

But even dressing like Harry Potter wasn’t enough to compensate for the complete and utter feeling of boredom that overtook me after sitting for two and a half hot and uncomfortable hours. And this was before the ceremony even began! The Vice President was the commencement speaker and was receiving an honorary doctorate of public service from the BY. Apparently, because Dick Cheney is such a high-ranking official we had to sit and listen to American Idol wannabes. Don’t get me wrong, Broadway musicals are cool and all, but being forced to listen to an extremely loud PA system with terrible acoustics while stereotypical Zoobies sang and danced with arms and legs that flailed about as if independent form their bodies isn't my ideal form of entertainment. Then again, watching highlights of BYU’s last football season was a pure delight—the Beck-to-Harline “Answered Prayer” pass in multiple angles gave me chills. (btw, congrats to Beck for getting drafted by the Miami Dolphins on Saturday!)

As I was saying, it was due to this confounded security screening that I was sitting there in a complete state of discomfort for so long, but I kept telling myself that it would be worth it to hear Dick Cheney speak. When he finally did enter with President Hinckley, there was a sense of excitement as the crowd cheered him and gave them a standing ovation. They would go on to cheer him repeatedly during his apolitical speech, interrupting it 18 times with applause, but I kept waiting for something more controversial—something the media could get a hold of. This is a man that regularly swims in a sea of controversy. Whether it’s the war in Iraq, his ties to Halliburton, or just his dominating presence in the most powerful office in the world, this is a man that could surely liven up little provincial Provoville. But, alas it was not to be. The usually feisty and occasionally caustic Cheney failed to deliver fireworks or even make reference to his recent feud with Reid, the new Democratic majority or even the Iraq War. Though I did find it interesting that his wife’s great-grandmother graduated from Brigham Young Academy before it was BYU.

But all the controversy surrounding his coming was much ado about nothing. This isn’t to say that his speech wasn’t good, in fact, it was near perfect—perfectly safe. I would even say that I probably enjoyed the student’s speech beforehand a little more, since it was filled with literary anecdotes, aplomb, and real inside jokes. (When he asked Cecil O. for a tuition refund since he was graduating without getting married, I nearly doubled over). It’s just the thought that a man who could bring such a firestorm of protestors and bloggers to rally against him in Conversative Town USA, didn’t really leave anything to protest. In hindsight his speech was exactly what I should’ve expected: inspirational, humble, laced with a little humor, and surprisingly short. I just kept thinking of how cool it would be to tell my grandkids about the time when the Vice President of the United States came to town and in a critical lapse of judgment was tackled by Secret Service when he tried to show off his shotgun to President Hinkley. Instead, I’ll probably tell my progeny that I graduated with Dick Cheney and they’ll stop playing with their virtual reality friends and say, “who?” Oh well, it could’ve been worse; it could’ve been Ralph Nader (zzzzzzzz)…Now, where’s my refund?

**P.S. This is in no way a political statement. I'm just messing around.

Ricky & Lyndi

Yesterday my friend asked me if I wanted to take engagement pictures of him and his fiancé. I laughed a little to myself until I looked up and realized he was serious. I asked whether or not he wanted someone that knew what they were doing. He said, “How hard can it be—just point and shoot.” Well, I got a new camera for Christmas and had yet to use it, so I decided to rise to the challenge. We found a little place up Provo canyon that I knew about, and after bribing the old man that lived there to let us take some pictures we got out the camera and went to work. We ended up taking almost 200 pictures in one hour and now they’re having trouble deciding which ones they like best for their announcement. I thought I’d let you guys take a look at some of the ones I like. What do you think?

"The Mormons" on PBS

I know that many of you have been wondering about the religion we belong to. It appears PBS has graciously decided to clear up anything that we've missed. Here's the preview. Compliments of Mylissa.

Lost in a Flash

What did parachute girl say to Mikail? Did Juliet lie to Sun about her DOC? I believe the most important thing said throughout the entire episode was desmonds line to charlie "by my last count you have killed more of them than they have of you". More.

REBUTTAL: Why I Still Buy CD's

By way of introduction, Jed has asked that I, Aaron, contribute some literary deliciousness to JedBoy.

You may remember me from such comments as "Oliver Stone should direct the upcoming version of The Hobbit" and "except for a few of my holdout friends (Aaron) ...."

I am that Aaron -- He Who Still Dares to Buy CD's.
I would like to explain why I still buy CD's.

Because they are real, tangible items. I can't plug my iPod into my awesome car stereo, because my tape deck once got jammed with an old Van Halen tape. (Does Van Halen show up on iTunes? If so, I might consider iTunes.)
So I can't use a tape adapter on my car stereo. I don't want to buy the gizmo that connects my iPod to my home stereo. I dont' want to buy the iPod specific home stereo. I don't want iTunes, mostly because I know that I would blow about $150 a month on songs that I liked at the time an bought on an impulse ... but then later regretted that purchase. Much like the time I ordered two Big Mac's -- sounded good at the time, but I was laden with an heavy burden for the rest of the week.

I think the effort of buying the CD makes you really think "Do I really like this music?" If you get in your car, drive to your local music shoppe, and make the effort to talk to the music nerd behind the counter, you show your commitment to the band and the music you like.

So, in answer to the question "Do Americans have bad taste?" that Jed asked in the last post, I say no. Because America is awesome ................

........................ of thee I sing!

'Americans have awful taste.'

I have a couple of addictions, and iTunes is one of them. As I was fervently downloading music the other day, I started to wonder what the rest of America was listening to. So, I decided to check out the billboard charts. It was what I expected: Justin Timberlake, Gwen Stefani, Fergie, Beyoncè, and a slew of past American Idol contestants dominated the charts. I don’t listen to any of these “musicians,” except for JT of course—I got my SexyBack several months ago. It then occurred to me that most of my friends and family members don’t listen to “popular” music either, which begs the question: Who is listening to this music anyway? Then I read this article that said that because people today are given so many options for listening to music—iTunes, MySpace, YouTube, eMusic, ringtones, streams from Yahoo! and AOL, illegal file-sharing—that it’s really difficult to determine billboard charts.

These charts are meant to reflect the popularity of music and track trends of the buying public. The thing is, kids aren’t buying CDs from the store anymore, and except for a few of my holdout friends (Aaron), most people I know don’t care about having a physical copy of a CD that they’re gonna rip onto their computer anyway. If the average American is listening to music by other means than buying albums and singles, then it probably isn't a good relfection of what America is really listening to. This means that the people that are having the biggest impact on the billboard charts are probably people over 35 who still think iPod means "payment on delivery," or people of lower socioeconomic background that can't afford one, or a compter for that matter.

On a positive note, however, with this ever shrinking CD market, indie rock bands like Modest Mouse, The Shins, and Bright Eyes have scored big on the billboard charts this year due to the obsessive allegiance of their fan base who insist on buying old fashioned CDs. (I digress). My point is, there’s no chart right now that combines all the ways people are listening to music today to get a very clear view of who is the most popular. Which means that many of the bands that I like might be really popular across America, but because of file-sharing or the burning of CDs, the charts will never relfect that.

Of course, I could be dead wrong, judging from the popularity of American Idol. James Poniewozik, from Time magazine, spent four pages trying to explain the popularity of American Idol and all of its zealous fans out there, to which one of his readers said, "it takes only four words: Americans have awful taste." Is he right?

Speaking of Irish Musicals....

Check out this movie trailer for the movie Once! I saw this at Sundance and completely loved it. I also met the actors and director after the screening of the film, which was a pleasant surprise. The most amazing thing about this movie was that the "actors" are actually musicians, but they completely pull it off. I heard them later perform in concert--they're really good! It looks like Fox Searchlight picked up the film, which might be a good omen since Napolean Dynamite was picked up from that movie studio after it premiered at Sundance. Most movies shown at Sundance are hardly ever distributed to the mainstream movie-going public, but this movie must have struck a nerve with the few who saw it--it won the Audience Award. Check out their myspace page and listen to the song "Falling Slowly."

Mom Jeans are back!!!!

Are Jim and Renee Zelwegger Dating?

This website thinks so....Plus, check out new clip for this week. It's hilarious!!!!

Which Super Villain are you?

I am
Poison Ivy


Here's what it said: "You would go to almost any length for the protection of the environment including manipulation and elimination."

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test

Which Superhero are you?

I am The Flash

Fast, athletic and flirtatious.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Brotherly Love

Lost

By Jeff Jensen

Jeff Jensen

Jeff Jensen, an EW senior writer, has been despondent since the cancellation of ''Twin Peaks''

For me, Desmond's groan said it all. It came at the climax of last night's outing of Lost, prior to the awful choice the episode had been building toward: Should the time-scrambled Scot sacrifice Charlie's life for a chance at being reunited with Penelope, or should he put the Hobbity rocker's life and well-being ahead of his own self-interest and once again save him from predestined death? It was a damnable dilemma, and it gave rise to an existential growl congested with resignation, fury, self-loathing, and more. It spoke of being stuck between courage and

cowardice, desire and duty, free will and fate — the clutch of tricky themes upon which Catch-22 was built. It also spoke on behalf of an episode heavy-laden with deep thoughts and ominous subtext encoded in Biblical and literary citations, comic book references, and perhaps the most provocative hidden clue in the show's history. It's enough to make your brain explode....more

Did you see the picture on the Abbott's desk? Himself with the "time travelling" lady from the jewelry store!!!

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Slinging For

I've always been a fan of classic musicals like Fiddler on the Roof, Sound of Music, Les Miserables. I'm also a huge fan of superhero movies. It seems like currently movies are getting turned into broadways musicals such as Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Spamalot. If I were to make a musical today then I would take an extremely popular movie franchise, say Spider-man, have some of my favorite rock artists, like U2, come up with the music, and wham-o, an awesome popular culture phenomenon. It'd be a sure fire hit, right? "Remember, with great superpower, comes great melody."

Or maybe Snow Patrol....

Has 24 "Jumped the Shark?"

I just watched 24 last night and was left with a "so what" feeling. This season has definitely seen a decline in writing quality when compared to previous seasons. I'm wondering if 24 has always been this bad, but it was such a novelty that we overlooked it's weaknesses. Now that it has become somewhat predictable, it's not as entertaining. Discuss.

Lost is on tonight!

Here and here are some recent and intriguing theories.

I'm sorry Mr Jackson

If you didn't know already Peter Jackson probably won't be directing the upcoming Hobbit movie (sob), due to his legal battles with the movie company. The LotR movies were probably some of the best hobbit movies ever, and it's hard to imagine someone else directing them. But, if you could choose another director who would it be?

Steven Spielberg pitch: A young Bilbo Baggins leaves during war to save a young private Ryan while avoiding dinosaurs and giant rolling boulders, only to narrowly escape from the clutches of Captain Hook by flying away on a BMX bike during a very full moon.

Tim Burton pitch: Biblo dies, but lives in the afterlife with his enigmatic friend Beetlejuice. All is well until Commissioner Gordon calls him up to fight crime, the only problem is that it's hard for him to save people with the scissors on his hands. So, he gives up and starts a chocolate factory, where he can cut chocolate with ease.

Ron Howard pitch: Biblo falls in love with a beautiful mermaid while splashing around, but then things get interesting when he decides to fly to the moon on the ill-fated Apollo 13 mission. Of course, he makes it back only to realize that he's dirt poor and in deep depression, so he decides to take up boxing again for his mermaid family and half-mermaid kids. He wins, but Bilbo is better with his beautiful mind than his boxing prowess, and thus decides to go to Europe to help decipher ancient symbols and discovers the one ring of power. He's a little disheartened to find that the one ring doesn't really hold all the power, but the ring band. (That would've been good to know for the trilogy).

Martin Scorsese?

M. Night Shyamalan?

Sam Raimi?

Bushisms

Here.

Ever wondered what a commencement speech by Conan O'Brien would be like?

Well, here it is. It's kind of long, but worth it.

Do These Genes Make Me Look Fat?

Yes. Actually.

Buster is Back!

Unshunned! Reshunned!

Unshun! The Office was great last night! Favorite moment: replacing Creed’s apple with a potato and he just continued munching. Loved it. The betting between the office workers was inspired, especially the Kelly and Ryan sequence. They’re quickly becoming my favorite couple to watch. I’ve always thought Ryan was a little too smarmy for his own good, but seeing him put up with all of Kelly’s eccentricities made me think for some reason that Ryan might not be a complete jerk. One thing that did bug me though, was watching the warehouse workers utterly berate Michael in front of everyone. I know Michael should get what he deserves sometimes, but he is the boss and there should be some level of respect, right? What did you guys think? Summary Reshun!

"Wikipedia is the best thing ever"

Just a reminder the Office is on tonight in case anyone forgot! It marks the return of Andy from Anger Management, which could be a good or bad thing depending on your fondness for quotes like this: "You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk! Waitresses - hot! Football, Cornell-Hofstra, slaughter! Then quick nap at my place, then we hit the tizzown." Personally, I think he's hilariously annoying. What do you guys think?

Also, apparently since last week's Wikipedia-heavy episode on negotiation, the popular colloraboritve reference cite had to place the entry under "semi-protection." Too many people were getting on to write things like, "Walk out of the room" or "The Office rocks!"

One more thing: Karen or Pam? I'm kind of liking Karen, at least she steps up. Of course, my heart goes out to Pam.

Was Amelia Earhart a Lostie?

I was watching Lost last night and noticed an interesting sign. Juliet's seduction to become one of the Others took place in the lobby of their aviation division with a sign that said Herarat Aviation-btw, I love DVR. Anyway, Herarat is an anagram for Earhart, as in Amelia Earhart, the aviator who went famously missing in 1937 with her navigator. Many suspect that she and her navigator crash landed on an island somewhere in the South Pacific. Some researchers think they have even found parts of their plane, clothes, and even remnants of graves. Which is a little more than interesting when considering that in Lost's first season, the Losties found an "Adam & Eve" type grave near the caves. It's only a theory, but it's kind of intriguing. What do you guys think? What do you think of Juliet? Good or bad? More summary.

Lost Addict?

Since last year, when I borrowed my brother's DVD of the first season of Lost, I've been hopelessly hooked. I'm not sure if it's the metaphysical storyline, heavy pycho-analysis of complex characters, or the sci-fi adventure that really pulls me in. But at any rate I just wanted to say that there's a great post explaining tonight's episode as well as an entire breakdown of the show's most popular theories. What do you guys think?

Karate Kid Dream Come True!

I'm not sure what it is, but ever since Karate Kid I've had a Dwightesque fascination with martial arts. I don't think I'm alone on this. In fact, I'm so into this that I got my nephews to watch the first Karate Kid with me. I got chills when I saw them trying the "crane kick" on one another. Anyway, in the last several years martial art movies have really raised the bar in excellence, with movies starring Jet Li like Hero and Fearless. But there's also been a lot of cross-over appeal with the Jackie Chan martial arts/comedies, which also have their place. For some reason these two martial arts aficionados have never done a movie together, until now that is. So what, if they're both in the twilight of their careers, I'll still pay to see these too duke it out, especially if they used the crane kick!

Who Is More Famousr?

So, for my first ever blog post I thought I would say something exceptionally stupendous, but instead I'm going to add a game to my blog. It's the Who Is More Famousr? game. I got to 31 in a row before losing to John Goodman and Brad Garrett. Really? John Goodman is more famousr than Emmy-winner Brad Garrett? Whatever. Anyway, enjoy!